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A message to "Birthers"

Right. So today, President Obama released the "long form" birth certificate that has been so-long demanded by the quasi-racist "birther" movement. It's been suggested by the BBC that the President's natural citizenship is still in question:

Another leading birther, Orly Taitz, reacted by repeating outlandish claims that Mr Obama is not a "natural born citizen" because his father is Kenyan.


The Beeb goes on to say that "Several other US presidents have had parents who were not US-born." In the interest of fact I'm offering 2 lists, which are admittedly based on data from Wikipedia and Ask.com, so feel free to consider them suspect and respond in comments with any trufax.

List 1: Presidents who were not "natural-born" U.S. citizens on date of birth:
(Year of birth is noted in parentheses. The end of the War for Independence, at which time the United States was acknowledged as a sovereign nation [more or less—never mind 1812], was in 1783. Parents of these presidents born outside of the United States have been noted in brackets.)
1. George Washington (1732)
2. John Adams (1735)
3. Thomas Jefferson (1743) [mother, England]
4. James Madison (1751)
5. James Monroe (1758)
6. Andrew Jackson (1767) [mother and father, Ireland]
7. John Quincy Adams (1767)
8. William Henry Harrison (1773)
So, in other words, the first 8 U.S. presidents were born as British subjects, and all of them were born prior even to the signing of the Declaration of Independence, never mind the fact that some of their parents weren't even colony-born. And, Birther-person, if you want to tell me that Thomas Jefferson is not a legitimate president because his mom was English, then you're basically ditching the entire Constitution, which makes you an anti-American who should be sent to the chair like the Rosenbergs, you fucking Red bastard.

List 2: "Natural-born" citizen presidents of whom one or more parents were born outside the U.S.:
1. James Buchanan (father, Ireland)
1. Chester A. Arthur (father, Ireland)
2. Woodrow Wilson (mother, England)
3. Herbert Hoover (mother, Canada)

To sum up:
George Washington wasn't born in the United States of America, he was born in the Colonies of the United Kingdom, which at the time included the future sovereign nations of India, Canada, the United States of America, chunks of South America, chunks of China, and chunks of just about everywhere else. Our forefathers modeled our democracy on a parliamentary system based on empire, and look where we've ended up. If you want to be angry about something, be angry about that. Quit whining about President Obama's Kenyan dad, unless you're prepared to be equally pissed about Tom Jefferson's mom and declare the entire foundation of our government invalid. You dickheads.

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